Birds
by brandonlov
Summary: I stared at him, trying to convey with my eyes the feelings that were dying to explode from my chest, stupid as they were. One-Shot: Dramione. Written for "The Love Song Challenge."


**I do not own Harry Potter.**

**Written for the Love Song Challenge.**

Thanks go in order to my beta, blueskyshymoon-olgameisterfunk.

_(Edited December 22, 2009)_

* * *

"_All the stars up in the sky, and the leaves in the trees, and the broken bits that make you trip and the grassy bits in between; all that matters in the world is how much that I like you."_

"Birds" -Kate Nash

* * *

I watched as he closed the door behind him. He was gone. He left me. Again.

Surprisingly enough, my eyes were dry. It was as if my body was not in synch with my brain. My brain screamed for my eyes to tear, but my eyes only blinked, as if nothing out of the ordinary had occurred. And maybe, nothing had. I knew that we were over for a long time; he knew too.

The deafening click of the door closing only made me angry. How dare he? He attempted to appear angry when this entire ordeal was his fault! _He_ was the one who cheated on me. He was the one who dangled it in my face, seeing how far he could get away with before I snapped. If he expected me to just pretend like it never happened, he was delusional.

It made me grind my teeth at the memory, merely remembering how I found them, in my bed, no less. The nerve of them, thinking they could get away with it, too! Their sweaty faces were so surprised, almost to a comical degree. It was ludicrous how he had swept his hair out of his eyes, trying to say that stupid line. "It's not what it seems." Right, and I'm gullible enough to _believe_ you.

I stood in the middle of the living room, watching through the window the birds that circled the air. I sighed, aware of how my flat sounded so muted. The screams were drowned with the rain and wind, just like all the tears I had shed. But no more. No, I was done with him. He didn't deserve my train of thought.

I needed to get out of here; I couldn't stand the quiet anymore. Without thinking, I stepped out of my flat, climbing the stairs that led to _his_ flat. He should be home, he always was. I knocked once, but not loud enough to be heard. Maybe I shouldn't bother him, I always did. The door opened though, and I swallowed my excuses, looking into his silver eyes.

"He left."

It wasn't a question, it was a statement. I nodded, ducking under his arm to walk into his tastefully decorated flat. I distinctively heard as he locked the door, and the action made me feel uncharacteristically safe. In actuality, I didn't know why his presence always had a calming effect on me, but he did.

"He left with her." My voice sounded devoid of any emotion.

"I thought that was what you wanted."

"It is." But deep inside, I knew that I had wanted Ron to at least beg me to stay. For him to beg me for forgiveness. But he hadn't.

"Good."

I stared at him, trying to convey with my eyes the feelings that were dying to explode from my chest, stupid as they were. He walked from the door to the soft sofa, sitting down. I followed him, sitting close to him, wanting to feel the warmth of his body. His body didn't tense like I thought it would. He was always so tense, rigid.

I remembered when I first knocked on his door, not really knowing if he would even open it. Thinking he had known it was me he would only ignore it. But he hadn't. He swiftly pulled the door ajar, raising an eyebrow before stepping aside, signaling with his hand to come in.

The action had caused me to widen my eyes and step dazedly into, at the time, the unknown flat. He had closed the door behind me, as if knowing even then that I was planning on staying. And I did. Stay, I mean.

I don't remember why I had gone up the flight of stairs to his flat; my mind had been muddled, twirling with too many thoughts. But then he let me in. And just like that, I kept coming back.

Now, I could feel the heat from his body, warming me all the way to my toes. I cautiously placed my hand near his, my fingers itching to touch his. It was weird, but looking at his hands calmed me. They were pale, but lean and strong. Unfortunately he moved his hand, grabbing the remote control to turn the volume of the television down slightly; the action movie playing had a car crash scene going on.

"You're not happy." The statement startled me, causing me to jump slightly.

"What do you mean?"

I watched as his brow furrowed, his eyebrows coming together almost comically, distorting his otherwise handsome face. "You're frowning," he deadpanned.

I felt the muscles of my jaw relax as I exhaled a breath, wishing that it wasn't so awkward. Maybe this thing that we had, this friendship of sorts, only worked when I had been with Ron. Whatever it was, somehow it seemed off now.

* * *

I watched the pavement as the clouds cast shadows over people's feet. Every few minutes, the clouds would move, the sun shining brightly, before new clouds moved back in place. I reveled when the rays hit the window for a few seconds, warming my face and hands from the cold of the wind that had managed itself into the shop.

He was late. He was never late.

Maybe something happened at work, enabling him to stay longer. Maybe he was injured- a broken leg or arm. Perhaps, he just didn't want to come. Something stirred within me at the last thought, making me catch my breath.

I had been bothering him a lot, lately. It was not on purpose, though. He was just…there. I didn't want to be alone, left with my own mind to talk to, and he was always there.

"Sorry I'm late." I looked away from the window, watching as he sat across from me in the tiny table. "I had to run some errands."

I nodded my head, swallowing a smile and the lump that had formed in my throat. I took a sip of my tea, savoring the last drops of the sweet liquid. "It's fine," I said quietly.

His blond hair looked messy, windblown, but still perfect. My eyes perused his form, instantly aware that something was different. His eyes were shining, a sort of excitement showing through his storming grey eyes. The usual set of his serious face was gone, replaced with a slight but true smile, his cheeks faintly pink. I couldn't help but stare, my back pressed hard against the back of my chair.

"What?" He asked, still looking carefree.

I shook my head, trying to take all of him in. "You look…happy," I said, a smile of my own forming on my lips.

"Really?" He fiddled with the cup that I had ordered for him ten minutes ago, drinking the now cold tea. "I guess I am."

I raised my eyebrows, silently asking him what he meant. "Happy," he said simply.

His mood was contagious, making my muscles relax, my neck less stiff. He kept drinking the cold tea, his eyes looking at me, but not really. I could tell his mind was somewhere else, in some distant happy memory.

"Are you ready to order?" I asked him, watching as his eyes focused again, the blue outshining the grey for once.

I had asked him to accompany me for lunch a month ago, thinking he would decline. But he surprised me, and had nodded his head, sitting across from me in the tiny tea shop every day since.

"Let's walk," he said suddenly, standing and putting his coat on. I sat there, not understanding until he extended his hand to help me up. I took it, his warmth pouring straight into me, and missed it, when he let go to help put my coat on.

"Draco, what are you…?" But he grabbed my hand again, leading me out of the small tea shop onto the park across the street, feeling the cold air hit my face.

The pigeons flew around the trees, perching on the branches, spreading their wings at hearing the footsteps of the people below them. I watched as a person sitting in a bench threw them bread, the pigeons flying around a bit before landing close to her feet.

The wind picked up, my hair undulating in the air, further frizzing up. With the current of air came even more birds, as if the airstream made them magically appear. I took the band from my left wrist, dropping Draco's hand in the process, and made a bun, doing my best to pull in all of the unruly curls, amplifying my view.

I wished I was a bird. Their wings flapping, bringing them closer to the pompous clouds… it was a tantalizing thought. I would fly to the tallest building, or just soar with the wind, never stopping.

The smell of clean soap and fresh pine trees assaulted my senses, snapping me out of my self-induced trance, making my head swim in an unwanted way. I felt as he reached for my hand again, but maybe he wasn't aware of it; his eyes were searching, looking for something, someone.

His hand pulled me with a purpose as I followed by his side. His carefree nature was still with him, making the slight run pleasant. I was a bit out of shape, I had to admit.

But then he stopped. I bumped into his side, feeling him steady me with his other free hand. I followed his gaze, which was directed in front of us. I was met with sparkling green eyes and a smile. She was beautiful, and I instantly felt lightheaded.

The woman was walking towards us in a slow but steady manner, as if she didn't have a worry in the world. Her blond hair seemed to sparkle, even with the dark clouds hanging overhead. Her high cheekbones and pink lips stood out in her features, the dark eyelashes that highlighted her eyes visible from the several feet that still separated us.

It hit me then.

Draco had found someone. He had; that was the only possible reason of why he brought me out here. He wanted me to meet her. He wanted me to meet the person that made him happy.

_No_.

I tried to disentangle my hand from his, but he only held on tighter, pulling me closer to his side. I tried again, tempted to use my other hand, but then she was in front of us, not two feet away. She kept on smiling, and I'm sure I was glaring, but I didn't care.

"Hello, Caroline." I felt Draco's voice vibrate against the side that was pressed up against him.

The blond woman smiled wider, revealing straight white teeth. I almost gasped, wanting to get out of here. "Hello, Draco. And this must be Hermione."

My eyes widened, but I gave a weak smile, not wanting for Draco to end our friendship due to my incompetence to get along with this woman. "Hello," I said quietly, lifting my chin up.

"I have what you asked for, Draco," Caroline said, looking through her black designer bag. "Mind you, it was hard to find. But I know you, and I know you don't take no for an answer."

Caroline handed Draco a brown package, the rectangular object looking familiar. "Thank you."

"Yeah, well..." she trailed off, shifting her weight from foot to foot. I became conscious then, that I was still holding Draco's hand. That perhaps, she might be feeling awkward, seeing me holding on to her partner's hand. I started to blush, feeling the heat rise in my cheeks, a dead give away to my embarrassment. As discreetly as I could, I wiggled my fingers, hoping he was more focused on the package than on me. But alas, he stopped my attempts to escape, nodding his head at the blond woman.

"I guess I'll see you later," Caroline said, a wistful look in her eyes. I almost wanted to cry at that moment, not believing Draco would put me through this. But he didn't know. _He didn't._

"Yes and thank you. Again."

The woman turned, glancing at me, an inquisitive look replacing the wistful one. She waved, her scarf swaying against the wind.

"She seems nice," I managed to choke out, moving a strand of hair from my face. I dared a look at his face, thankful he was peering at the package and not at me.

"Let's go back to the tea shop." I nodded my head, careful not to look directly into his face.

The walk back was calm, but there was an undertone of contentment that radiated from Draco. His hand squeezed mine every few seconds, sending a whirlwind of emotions through my body. I could feel him looking down at me, but I didn't dare to peer back.

I was afraid.

I could feel my heart pounding, a painful rhythm that prevented me from getting a proper breath. I was not prepared to have someone affect me so quickly, so effortlessly. After Ron, I thought I was fine. _Okay_. But I had come to depend on his company, acting greedy and selfish, and now that was over. He had found someone, and even though he didn't say it: I knew. The way she had looked at me, a curious but resentful glance. I could understand though; I too would be bitter against the woman who kept my boyfriend away.

As he opened the door for me, I held back the tears that threatened to fall. This could be our last lunch together. Possibly the real reason that he was late was because he had to let Caroline know this would be the last time he was spending time with me.

_No._

* * *

We sat down in the same table that we sat at everyday at noon; me ordering the same chicken parmesan sandwich, while he ordered the same chicken salad. I chewed slowly, staring at the blue and black patterns of the wall, taking a sip of my tea occasionally.

It was snowing, the first snow of winter. It had come late, too late, in the eyes of the weather forecasters and people in general. It was mid December, Christmas nearing every second, the red and green of the festivities attacking every surface of the city. And with the first snow, it was official: only one more week until the holidays started.

The window displayed people walking with gigantic shopping bags, children holding onto their mothers, their faces full of joy. I glanced back at the patterns of the wall, feeling the silence increase with every second, even though I could hear the entire clamor from the people surrounding us.

Ever since last week, I couldn't look at Draco in the eye. I had thought he would terminate our lunches, but he didn't. He didn't mention Caroline, and I was glad. I wondered if he knew why I had been so distant.

"I have something for you." I looked up and was met with soft blue-gray orbs. I stared, but then noticed the same brown packaged that had invaded my thoughts for days. I gazed at it, but then he pushed it across the tiny table. "For you."

I made my hands take the package, feeling the rough paper under my fingers. I carefully lifted the tape, cautious not to damage or tear at the material. I knew what it was before I took it out: a book. I gasped, no words forming. No, he wouldn't.

"Draco…" I couldn't fight the smile that tugged at the corners of my mouth. "Is this?"

"Yes. I had Caroline find it."

In my hands, I held a first edition of _Pride and Prejudice_, my favorite novel. I had mentioned to Draco in passing how much I enjoyed the book, but didn't think he would remember. Ever.

I stared at him in wonder, but then realized what he had said. "You had your girlfriend find me a book?" I blurted, not thinking.

His brow furrowed, but then he chuckled, starting to laugh. He was laughing, and I blushed, knowing he was laughing at me. "Caroline is not my girlfriend."

"She's not? But I figured…" My cheeks flared even more.

"Is that why you have been quiet this entire week?" I couldn't answer, so I turned my head and looked at the pigeons fly, nodding my head. "You're unbelievable," he chuckled.

"Excuse me?"

"Why would I deliberately spend time with you if I was already taken? I'm not that kind of man, Hermione."

"I was just…stupid." I shook my head, barely comprehending what he just said.

"Look at me," he whispered. I kept watching the pigeons fly about, wishing I could trade places with one of them. I would fly away from this situation, this mess. "Hermione, look at me please."

I heard the urgency in his voice, and against my better judgement, I did. Look at him. The blue was gone, mercurial silver shining brightly. "It's okay, Hermione. I feel the same way."

My mind whirled, not believing what came out of his mouth. No, he couldn't feel the same way. He couldn't. My heart bursts with excitement and fear whenever I see him. I feel like I can't breathe when he is near. My palms sweat, my stomach fills with butterflies. _He couldn't_.

I took a deep breath, a slight smile on my lips. "It's okay, Hermione."

And then he took my hand, squeezing it, a thousand emotions with that one gesture; my heart fluttering, my insides squirming. "Okay, Draco. I believe you."

"Good." He smiled a genuine smile, one that reached his eyes, portraying feelings that I had missed all along.

But I couldn't help but turn back to the window and see the pigeons soar off, their wings flapping, flying in a V formation. It was time for change, and they had taken action.

"Merry Christmas, Hermione."

I smiled, squeezing his hand back, trying to convey my entire soul with that one motion. "Merry Christmas, Draco."

* * *

**A/N:** Thank you for reading.

"Birds" is a title taken from Kate Nash. (And I meant the version that she had out before _Made of Bricks_. That album totally _ruined_ every song that she had made.)


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